Rejection – The Secret to Getting What You Want

What if I said I am not going to allow you to read this blog?

What if I had the power to prevent you from reading this blog? What if I used that power against you? How would you feel? That feeling is called Rejection.

Rejections pains. If you are rejected in your school by your teachers, it sucks. So you seek their approval by trying to do what they expect of you. If you are rejected from a friend’s circle, you feel pain. If you are rejected by someone who you are attracted to, it pains. If you are rejected by your parents, it pains.

Since rejection is painful, we build our life to buffer ourselves against rejection. We want a stable job because we don’t need to feel the rejection that entrepreneurs usually face. We settle for someone in our life even if they are not the best match we could go for because we don’t want to be rejected by other people who we might like.

We are afraid to take certain decisions in our life and afraid to speak out our opinions because we fear rejection and we try to avoid it as much as possible. But moving away from rejection also means that moving away from a lot of things we want in our life but lack the courage to go and get it.

When I was a kid in school, my home was 2km away in the city. The school was on the highway and the only way to get to the city was the town bus. Backbenchers usually do not take the school bus. They travel on their own. But the town bus always was crowded and pretty inconvenient. One good alternative to the town bus was to get a lift from a passing motorcycle.

Many people hesitate to as for a lift because they know that a lot of people will say no to them. When people say no to you, it sucks because it hurts our ego. But I was a little bit more resistant to the feeling of rejection. I would ask for a lift from quite a few passing by bikers. Many of them would say no, but I knew that if I asked enough, someone will eventually give me a lift.

I figured out that the conversion ratio was around 10%. If I asked 10 bikers, one of them will most likely give me a lift. But that also means getting rejected by 9 other people, most of the time.

When 9 bikers reject me, some looking down on me, I learned not to feel anything. I would just look at the numbers and wait for the guy who eventually decides to give me a lift. Sometimes it’s the 3rd biker, sometimes the 7th and sometimes the 10th. But 1/10 will give me a lift. And that would be way more convenient than going in a crowded bus.

While most of my friends took the bus most of the days, I used to get a lift from a passerby most of the days.

Why didn’t my friends get the convenience that I got? Because they were not able to face rejection. When someone rejects us, we take it personally. We seek the approval of the world and we often try to avoid situations where someone disapproves of us.

Since then, I believe, I’ve got more out of life that most of my childhood friends because I have the habit of asking more out of life. One of the most painful things about asking more out of life is that we have to face a lot more rejection.

If we ask more, we will get rejected more. But we won’t get more unless we ask more. So what we get out of your life is directly proportional to our ability to face rejection. In all the dimensions of our life.

So the next time you hesitate to ask something, think about it. Are you choosing not to ask because you will not be able to face rejection? Asking costs nothing. If there is a secret to getting more out of life, it is the ability to face rejection.

Cheers,
Deepak Kanakaraju

 

21 thoughts on “Rejection – The Secret to Getting What You Want”

  1. Meanful & learning blog Deepak sir .. at the end of the weekend by reading such a beautiful blog ..
    Thank you
    Deepak sir & Pixel track team ..

    Reply
  2. I know sometimes rejection give us a power to face every situation in our Life. I’m completed my graduation in commerce field, when I was 11th class I work under CA firm, I work 4 year’s for them but one day they rejected to me. I don’t know what I do now, after graduation I searched jobs, I was cleared and confirm job in Bajaj finance, but they doesn’t give me a joining letter, I called them but they don’t give any answer to me.. I was thinking about my career how I suffer, lots of interview I faced but when I know about digital marketing, what is the SEO? Then I clear In my mind that I know what I want to doo.. Deepak sir u r my icon for digital marketing. One day I prove myself that’s my promise, thanku soo much sirr for giving lots of motivation and knowledge that everyone wants to needs.

    Reply
  3. Hey Deepak Kanakaraju sir ,

    Great post with great information. It is true that many people are feared of rejections, because it hurts an ego. We must have an ability to face rejections and we must take it in a positive way.

    Rejections teaches us several thing and makes us more strong to face an upcoming opportunities and to handle the situation in our life. If we want to get more in our life then we should have an ability to tallerate rejections.

    Truly inspirational post ad thanks for sharing.

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  4. Getting used to rejection at an early age can do wonders for your personality. You develop a thick skin and remain optimistic and hopeful, personality traits that help you become more successful in life.

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  5. There is a concept called “Law of averages” which will be taught to sales trainees with the pack of cards. You need to face an average of 53 rejection to make one sale which was nicely explained in your blog. Always people new to sales or marketing will face rejection as a major challenge. Your post will help us to face more “rejection” to be a stronger one. Initially, I have this issue in my school days which I learned to face rejection. Nicely return Deepak anna

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  6. Ya it’s true when we face rejection it pains alot. Recently i faced rejection in my career. I was work in a company from 2017 but at the end of janaury 2020. My boss suddenly rejected me. I dont know what was the reason but that day in the evening i finalalised a deal approx 6 lac with my client. And when my boss rejected me on that day i was shocked. Then i thought Anubhav why are you shocked you have to face this rejection. because when u can’t handle this rejection you can’t handle your success. so its the phase of your life. fight with this situation and most important thing Believe in yourself. because when you believe in your self you can do everything what you want. after that job. i am starting learning digital marketing. and i now my target is clear i have to make a best digital marketing myself. no matter what’s the situation is.
    So face rejection and take a message with that rejection in a positive way
    “Believe In Yourself”

    Cheers

    Reply
  7. Hi Deepak,Great post with good information. It is true that many people are feared of rejections, because it hurts an ego. We must have an ability to face rejections and we must take it in a positive way. In my life I’m faced many rejections and still I’m facing it but I didn’t scared I’m facing each & each chalange

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  8. I think facing rejection is a very important life skill and everyone should be up for this. Being in a Sales Profile I face many more rejections but eventually only to meet the right customer.

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  9. Rejection in today competitive world are facing 0/10, This makes us, think why ? we need to think & work how to get acceptance this worst case. If we did then our acceptance success will be more.If we fail to think & work our acceptance percentage is nil.Thanks deepak good motivation content .

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  10. seriously, kidding me…!!!

    surprised to see this article at this moment and it’s so soothing for me now and whatever you said in this is absolutely true and i agree with you and literally samething made me think of digital marketing and “lot more to compensate-lack of a penny” situation drove me into this and especially to FREE DIGITAL MARKETING COURSE from google search at this moment. Thanks a lot. Sometimes, helping hands will be waiting for us, we just ignore… is a right saying. As i didn’t believe in free courses today because of data theft and continuous ads, so i am searching for cheaper course from last 2 days and i even cannot afford them so finally it is your course i am undergoing. part of it, just came to your blog and particularly this one article.. don’t know how come, but i am connected to the title i can say. thank you once again

    Reply

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